Post by jfwordsmith on May 15, 2017 12:42:45 GMT -5
Thanks for all the feedback so far, everyone. Version 1 had 287 words, and Version 2 now has 426. I should probably work to cut this down a touch, right?
NEW - Version 2, 5/16
After her father’s suicide, Lila Cunningham writes a two-rule handbook to avoid enduring the same pain again. One: Love no one. Two: Avoid liars. Easy solution: barricade herself from all relationships – romantic, friendly, or otherwise. But then Mom forgets Lila’s sixteenth birthday and compensates for it by signing her and her brother Sammy up for a summer at Camp Bonaventure: a post-9/11 grief camp reimagined for kids who have lost parents in today’s world. In other words, a place where self-isolation equals impossible.
Despite her reluctance to go, Lila agrees to stay for one week to alleviate a tiny fraction of her mother’s anguish. Right away, well-meaning bunkmates haze Lila by stealing her towel while she’s in the shower, leaving her a camp-legacy leotard in its place. Soaking wet and fuming with embarrassment, Lila meets Noah Kitteridge, the mysterious “other new kid” at camp who proffers an immediate appreciation for the protagonist in her nineties-workout-Barbie garb. And even though Lila’s sworn off these kinds of things, since no friends and no romance means no more hurt and no more liars, at the end of her week away, Lila kisses Noah. Angry with herself for coming close to breaking her handbook’s number-one rule, Lila stalks away – only to find her little brother surrounded by a throng of fellow campers. Lila mistakenly believes Sammy is being threatened, so she punches one of them. And gets caught. The camp director’s punishment comes in the form of a choice: go home and lose cash-strapped Mom’s deposit, or stay for all eight weeks and actually try to heal.
Resigned, Lila chooses the latter, forging real friendships with her bunkmates, who understand her grief more than her friends back home. In between swimming and s’mores, Lila realizes she’s really ditched the handbook. She falls for Noah. For the first time since her dad died, Lila’s freed of some emotional baggage and full of flirty feelings. But then the morning after the most romantic night of her life, Noah has vanished. Frantic, Lila searches for him – but what she learns destroys her. Noah’s father isn’t dead after all. His brother was a school shooter, and Noah’s gone off to his trial. So Noah is a liar. Now, Lila must decide between the lesser of two evils: forgiving a liar, or detach from everyone all over again.
Like my character Lila, I am the daughter of suicide. Dead Parents Camp is a 62,000 word coming-of-age story of a girl trying to shed suicide’s stigma, protect her heart, and trust in the world around her.
Version 1 - submitted 5/15
After her father’s suicide, Lila Cunningham writes a two-rule handbook to avoid enduring the same pain again. One: Love no one. Two: Avoid liars. Easy solution: barricade herself from all relationships – romantic, friendly, or otherwise. But then Mom forgets Lila’s sixteenth birthday and compensates for it by signing her up for Camp Bonaventure: a post-9/11 grief camp reimagined for kids who have lost parents in today’s world. In other words, a place where self-isolation equals impossible.
To quell Mom’s anguish, Lila agrees to stay for one week, where she is hazed by her fellow half-orphans, participates lackadaisically in art, dining, s’mores, and therapy, and kisses the gorgeous Noah Kitteridge. Then, Lila punches a fellow camper after a misunderstanding. Her punishment comes in the form of a choice: go home and lose widowed Mom’s deposit, or stay for the summer and actually try to heal. Lila chooses the latter, making nice with her bunkmates and breaking her handbook’s number-one rule with Noah. For the first time since her dad died, Lila’s freed of some emotional baggage and full of flirty feelings.
But then Lila finds herself frantically searching for Noah after he vanishes the morning of a camp field trip. What she learns destroys her. Noah’s father isn’t dead after all. His brother was a school shooter, and Noah’s gone off to his trial. So Noah is a liar. Now, Lila must decide between the lesser of two evils: forgiving a liar, or cutting herself off from everyone all over again.
Like my character Lila, I am the daughter of suicide. Dead Parents Camp is a 62,000 word coming-of-age story of a girl trying to shed suicide’s stigma, protect her heart, and trust in the world around her.
NEW - Version 2, 5/16
After her father’s suicide, Lila Cunningham writes a two-rule handbook to avoid enduring the same pain again. One: Love no one. Two: Avoid liars. Easy solution: barricade herself from all relationships – romantic, friendly, or otherwise. But then Mom forgets Lila’s sixteenth birthday and compensates for it by signing her and her brother Sammy up for a summer at Camp Bonaventure: a post-9/11 grief camp reimagined for kids who have lost parents in today’s world. In other words, a place where self-isolation equals impossible.
Despite her reluctance to go, Lila agrees to stay for one week to alleviate a tiny fraction of her mother’s anguish. Right away, well-meaning bunkmates haze Lila by stealing her towel while she’s in the shower, leaving her a camp-legacy leotard in its place. Soaking wet and fuming with embarrassment, Lila meets Noah Kitteridge, the mysterious “other new kid” at camp who proffers an immediate appreciation for the protagonist in her nineties-workout-Barbie garb. And even though Lila’s sworn off these kinds of things, since no friends and no romance means no more hurt and no more liars, at the end of her week away, Lila kisses Noah. Angry with herself for coming close to breaking her handbook’s number-one rule, Lila stalks away – only to find her little brother surrounded by a throng of fellow campers. Lila mistakenly believes Sammy is being threatened, so she punches one of them. And gets caught. The camp director’s punishment comes in the form of a choice: go home and lose cash-strapped Mom’s deposit, or stay for all eight weeks and actually try to heal.
Resigned, Lila chooses the latter, forging real friendships with her bunkmates, who understand her grief more than her friends back home. In between swimming and s’mores, Lila realizes she’s really ditched the handbook. She falls for Noah. For the first time since her dad died, Lila’s freed of some emotional baggage and full of flirty feelings. But then the morning after the most romantic night of her life, Noah has vanished. Frantic, Lila searches for him – but what she learns destroys her. Noah’s father isn’t dead after all. His brother was a school shooter, and Noah’s gone off to his trial. So Noah is a liar. Now, Lila must decide between the lesser of two evils: forgiving a liar, or detach from everyone all over again.
Like my character Lila, I am the daughter of suicide. Dead Parents Camp is a 62,000 word coming-of-age story of a girl trying to shed suicide’s stigma, protect her heart, and trust in the world around her.
Version 1 - submitted 5/15
After her father’s suicide, Lila Cunningham writes a two-rule handbook to avoid enduring the same pain again. One: Love no one. Two: Avoid liars. Easy solution: barricade herself from all relationships – romantic, friendly, or otherwise. But then Mom forgets Lila’s sixteenth birthday and compensates for it by signing her up for Camp Bonaventure: a post-9/11 grief camp reimagined for kids who have lost parents in today’s world. In other words, a place where self-isolation equals impossible.
To quell Mom’s anguish, Lila agrees to stay for one week, where she is hazed by her fellow half-orphans, participates lackadaisically in art, dining, s’mores, and therapy, and kisses the gorgeous Noah Kitteridge. Then, Lila punches a fellow camper after a misunderstanding. Her punishment comes in the form of a choice: go home and lose widowed Mom’s deposit, or stay for the summer and actually try to heal. Lila chooses the latter, making nice with her bunkmates and breaking her handbook’s number-one rule with Noah. For the first time since her dad died, Lila’s freed of some emotional baggage and full of flirty feelings.
But then Lila finds herself frantically searching for Noah after he vanishes the morning of a camp field trip. What she learns destroys her. Noah’s father isn’t dead after all. His brother was a school shooter, and Noah’s gone off to his trial. So Noah is a liar. Now, Lila must decide between the lesser of two evils: forgiving a liar, or cutting herself off from everyone all over again.
Like my character Lila, I am the daughter of suicide. Dead Parents Camp is a 62,000 word coming-of-age story of a girl trying to shed suicide’s stigma, protect her heart, and trust in the world around her.
Dead Parents Camp is a 62,000 word coming-of-age story of a girl trying to shed suicide’s stigma, protect her heart, and trust in the world around her. 
