A Complex Solution-YA Cont. w/para. & romance elem (Revised)

Fifteen-year old Lexi Thompson wishes she’d died in the car accident with her parents. (Hooked!)

But then she receives a letter from a prestigious mathematical institute, notifying her of a secret her parents kept-- they purportedly proved a million-dollar math theorem. (I think I want more detail here--how/why is the institute writing to them? Do they want to publish the theorem/proof?) Their research is lost, though(comma) and it is up to Lexi to find it.

Mired in grief and guilt since her parents’ deaths, Lexi is determined to find the proof, hoping to atone—in a small way—for surviving the crash. (strong motivation) Lexi reaches out for help from Joe, her math class friend with the mesmerizing green eyes. (Why does she pick Joe, aside from his eyes?) As the search for her parents’ research brings them closer, though, Lexi worries her own secret of being a self-cutter (Did this start with the crash, or before?) will leak out and scare Joe away. But when Joe discloses he knows about her problem and wants to help her, it strengthens their relationship and their pursuit of the proof.

As they continue to search, Lexi realizes she’s not the only one looking for her parents’ proof. She’s sure the mysterious man plaguing her in strange visions is the same one she’s seen in the woods while running with her dog. Lexi suspects he covets the proof for his own gain and fears what he will do to her if she finds the proof first. (Why does she think so? It could be her mind playing tricks on her--see a scary man, imagine he's still around. Can you rephrase to imply that she gets the visions first and then sees him in real life?)

Her parents’ crack at mathematical immortality (I didn't have a problem with this phrase, but my bestie and her husband are math geeks, so...  Maybe academic immortality?) depends on her diligence and the evasive measures she will need to take to get the proof into safe hands. Her chance at a deeper relationship with Joe and a stable, happy life hinges on her willingness to seek help for her self-harming addiction. (These seem like two separate sets of problems and stakes. On the one hand, publish her parents' proof and earn the immortality [what happens if she fails there?], on the other, her chance at a happy life in the present [not tied to the past] and her mental/emotional health. Can you tie them together in a more obvious way? If Lexi is becoming obsessed with the past and her parents, that would make a good contrast to her future with Joe.)

Complete at 87,000 words, A Complex Solution is a YA suspense with paranormal and romance elements and is a standalone with series potential.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Fifteen-year old Lexi Thompson wishes she’d died in the car accident with her parents.

But then she receives a letter from a prestigious mathematical institute, notifying her of a secret her parents kept-- they purportedly proved a million-dollar math theorem. Their research is lost, though, and it is up to Lexi to find it and send it to the institute. (Much clearer, I understand the situation now.)

Mired in grief and guilt since her parents’ deaths, Lexi is determined to find the proof, hoping to atone—in a small way—for surviving the crash. Lexi reaches out for help from Joe, her math class friend with the kind, gentle nature and mesmerizing green eyes. As the search for her parents’ research brings them closer, though, Lexi worries her own secret of being a self-cutter, an issue that predates her parents’ deaths, will leak out and scare Joe away. But when Joe discloses he knows about her problem and wants to help her, it strengthens their relationship and their pursuit of the proof.  (I think this is nullifying your stakes, when what we want in the query is to keep ratcheting them up. It's okay if chronologically this happens before the things mentioned in the third paragraph, the query doesn't have to reflect the book exactly, same for the synopsis. If you take this sentence out, the matter doesn't feel 'closed'.)

As they continue to search, Lexi realizes she’s not the only one looking for her parents’ proof. She’s sure the mysterious man who has plagued her (I wonder if you can get more specific about how he's bothering her, or what makes her think he wants the proof. Staring? Handling a graphic calculator? ) in strange dream-like visions since her parents’ deaths is the same one she starts seeing in the woods as she runs with her dog. Lexi suspects he covets the proof for his own gain and fears what he will do to her if she finds the proof first. (Wrap this up with a connection to the self-harm and it's golden. Is her fear of this man, and/or anxiety about finding the proof, causing her to harm herself?)

Lexi must acknowledge her need for professional help to treat her self-harming addiction. Both her parents’ crack at academic immortality and her chance at a stable, happy life—one that includes a deepening relationship with Joe—depend upon it.

Complete at 87,000 words, A Complex Solution is a YA suspense with paranormal and romance elements and is a standalone with series potential.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Fifteen-year old Lexi Thompson wishes she’d died in the car accident with her parents. (Nice opening. I wonder what it would look like with a couple more details. Why does she wish she died? Survivor’s guilt? Did she do something that caused the accident? Was she even in the car? Was she injured? Just a hint or two. )



But then she receives a letter from a prestigious mathematical institute, notifying her of a secret her parents kept—(I wonder if this clause should end in a colon. I’m not sure though.) they purportedly proved a million-dollar math theorem. Their research is lost, though, (I think the word “though” tripped me up. I recommend cutting it.) and it is up to Lexi to find it and send it to the institute.



Mired in grief and guilt since her parents’ deaths, Lexi is determined to find the proof, hoping to atone—in a small way—for surviving the crash. Lexi reaches out for help from Joe, her math class friend with the kind, gentle nature (YES! A math nerd, non-jock love interest! It’s about time!) and mesmerizing green eyes. As the search for her parents’ research brings them closer, though, (Again, this “though” feels awkward. Can you say “But” at the beginning? Or “However”?) Lexi worries her own secret of being a self-cutter, an issue that predates her parents’ deaths, will leak out and scare Joe away.



As they continue to search, Lexi realizes she’s not the only one looking for her parents’ proof. She’s sure the mysterious man who has plagued her in strange dream-like visions since her parents’ deaths is the same one she starts seeing in the woods as she runs with her dog. (Interesting!) Lexi suspects he covets the proof for his own gain and fears what he will do to her if she finds the proof first.



The longer it takes to find the proof, the more Lexi jeopardizes her well-being by cutting and risks having the mysterious man find the proof before she does. Both her parents’ crack (When I first read this, I thought “crack” was a verb, as in “Both of her parents are cracking…” My suggestion is to simplify this: “Her parent’s academic immortality and her chance…etc.”) at academic immortality and her chance at a stable, happy life—one that includes a relationship with Joe—depend upon it. That’s something she can’t afford.



Complete at 87,000 words, A Complex Solution is a YA suspense with paranormal and romance elements and is a standalone with series potential.



Thank you for your time and consideration.



I love the mix of “contemporary” and para-normal/supernatural. My story is similar in that respect. I feel for Lexi, and I like that you are wrestling with an issue like cutting. I’m certain that you will handle it in a sensitive manner without glamorizing it. I would love to read more! Good work and good luck!