YA Fantasy: ALL IS DARK (revised)

Here's my second candidate to enter into QK:

New:

Reincarnation can be a B!, especially when a mad goddess keeps killing you.

Seventeen-year-old Saekina hasn’t had a place to call home in years. Every family member or friend who has stood at her side has abandoned her or died. She’s given up on having companions, and city of Dennin is a big place to be alone. She relies on her blades and a strange Is there a more unique word you can use beside strange? Something that hints at the not-quite magic in your world, ethereal energy to survive the demonic assassins that have hunted her since childhood. When the creatures once again find her, it ends in a massacre—with her as the number one suspect. I love the delivery of this sentence, but the way it's worded sounds like she has to run because she's a suspect but not guilty. She massacred the demons, right? Is she running from the demon assassins again or city officials?

While on the run, she comes across others hunted by the same creatures and wielding the same energy: a shapeshifter, a priestess, and a brawler. Along with eighteen-year-old Idani, a mischievous thief she finds herself drawn to, the five of them band together to fight their hunters. For the first time in years, she has friends to belong to—and friends to fight for. Saekina is not about to let anyone hurt them. Love this. The stakes are clear! 

One of the goddesses wants them dead, and this isn’t the first life they’ve faced her in. This time she's hell-bent on killing them for good. With the hook above in the first sentence, you already said the goddess wants them dead. Maybe focus on the killing them for good angle in this paragraph to cut out the repetition. Saekina’s blades are ready for a fight, but first she must find a way to defeat an immortal. The solution lies mastering the not-quite again, I'd love a more descriptive word than "not-quite" magical energy. If she can't, more than just her life is at stake. Her friends could be picked off one by one, leaving her utterly alone once again.


Old:

Dear Agent,

Reincarnation can be a B!, especially when a mad goddess keeps killing you.

Seventeen-year-old Saekina hasn’t had a place to call home in years. She’s given up on having companions, and city of Dennin is a big place to be alone. She relies on her blades and a strange, ethereal energy to survive the demonic assassins that have hunted her since childhood. When the creatures once again find her, it ends in a massacre—with her as the number one suspect.

While on the run, she comes across others hunted by the same creatures and wielding the same energy: a shapeshifter, a priestess, and a brawler. Along with eighteen-year-old Idani, a mischievous thief, the five of them band together to fight their hunters. For the first time in years, she has friends to belong to—and friends to fight for. Saekina is not about to let the demon assassins kill any of them. Especially the girl she likes.

Eventually, they discover that a goddess wants them dead, and this isn’t the first life they’ve faced her. This time the goddess is hell-bent on making this death stick for good, only now Saekina’s blades are ready and she refuses to let another life be taken from her. She has more to live for now than ever before.

ALL IS DARK is a 90,000 word LGBT young adult fantasy with series potential. Thank you for your time and consideration.