I recently read/saw that you ___________, and hoped you would find interest in my completed 88,000 word YA fantasy, A CALLING OF DARKNESS.
On the night of the Blood Moon, seventeen-year-old Helena falls asleep a farmer’s daughter and wakes cursed with the powers of death. When her routine sparring partner attacks her in a practice fight turned deadly, Helena reacts in self-defense. But her new-found powers take control, devouring his soul and every villager nearby. While admitting her sins to her parents, they reveal that she may be the descendant of Hades.
When Athena, the merciless ruler of Olympus, discovers the massacre, she executes Helena’s parents as punishment. Helena then becomes consumed by the need for vengeance. But revenge is a dangerous game, and with each life she takes she grows closer to losing her humanity, and with it, her heart. She must either let vengeance consume her or take her rightful place in Olympus, even if she has to incite a rebellion to do so. A war between the new gods and the old is what’s needed to restore order and peace to Olympus.
A CALLING OF DARKNESS is the first novel with series potential that entwines the darker worlds and unexpected romances similar to Sarah J Maas' A Court of Thorns and Roses, with a lethal anti-hero much like that of Veronica Roth's Carve the Mark.
I recently read/saw that you ___________, and hoped you would find interest in my completed 88,000 word YA fantasy, A CALLING OF DARKNESS.
On the night of the Blood Moon, seventeen-year-old Helena falls asleep a farmer’s daughter and wakes cursed with the powers of death. When her routine sparring partner attacks her in a practice fight turns deadly (why would this happen, I wonder?), Helena reacts in self-defense. But her new-found powers take control, devouring his soul and every villager nearby. While admitting her sins to her parents, they reveal that she may be the descendant of Hades. As in they knew the whole time or are just speculating because of what she did? Overall, first paragraph could use some revision. Did she realize she woke up with death powers or was her act of self-defense when the powers first lash out? Try to play it out like that instead of summarizing in the first sentence.
When Athena, the merciless ruler of Olympus, (This gets me curious. Why Athena is the ruler of Olympus and not Zeus) discovers the massacre, she executes Helena’s parents as punishment. Helena then becomes consumed by the need for vengeance. But revenge is a dangerous game, and with each life she takes she grows closer to losing her humanity, and with it, her heart. She must either let vengeance consume her or take her rightful place in Olympus, even if she has to incite a rebellion to do so. A war between the new gods and the old is what’s needed to restore order and peace to Olympus. What "new" gods? For a query, it might read clearer if you said something along the lines of "It was time to put new gods on Mt Olympus." It would give it a bit more voice and a bigger goal for the character rather than just plain revenge.
A CALLING OF DARKNESS is the first novel with series potential that entwines the darker worlds and unexpected romances (Since you don't mention a romance at all in the query, this might not be the place to add this) similar to Sarah J Maas' A Court of Thorns and Roses, with a lethal anti-hero much like that of Veronica Roth's Carve the Mark.
So far I've gathered that Helena aims to claim Mt Olympus for revenge, going up against Athena mainly, and the price may be her humanity. What happens if she fails? Will taking Olympus save her humanity? As a child of Hades, can she even die? I feel the stakes aren't coming across as high enough. Losing her humanity might be part of it, but that sounds more like the internal character arc. It's an interesting premise, very female God of War like!