YA Contemporary Fantasy--IT'S PROBABLY FINE

Hi Jessica,
I really like your query!

This sentence "He’s juggled all his other stressors for this long, so what’s one more thing?" seems a little weak to me - especially when you go back and reference "one more thing." Maybe something like "He's great at juggling stress. This is just one more thing." I'm not sure if that's it either, but something to think about.

"Alex begins to realize “one more thing” is actually a big deal." Could this be stronger? "Alex begins to realize "one more thing" is one thing too many?"

In the last paragraph, I'd change the rhetorical question to a reiteration of the title. "...good at making it up as he goes along. It's probably fine."

Just some thoughts. I hope this is helpful and good luck!

Overall Comments the entry left me with:
I just love magic, and I’m an energy healer so I super-love Terryn and her ability to nurture things 😊 Plus, Alex is like a normal teenager juggling many demands now-a-days, so he’s really relatable and your book will probably resonate with your audience perfectly!!
Perfect Question you left me with: how did she start a war, and how important is she that she was able to be so influential? Great Questions to leave me with & great foreshadowing for the political power struggle to come in your book!!

I’ll paste excerpts from your query and comment underneath using [CDH - ]

Sixteen-year-old Alex Sanders thinks his life is okay; he’s on the basketball team despite not actually liking basketball, he’s obsessed with his grades, and hasn’t slept well since he entered high school. And there’s the tiny problem of recurring panic attacks, but that’s not a huge deal. Everyone gets a little stressed.
[CDH – I read you love the 1st paragraph & that’s prob because it has some cool, pertinent information 😊 You say his life is okay, but I don’t get the gist of why that’s so or why it’s important given the rest of the text in your paragraph. I hope the below example will give you ideas of how to clue the reader into what the real importance is and why you want the reader to know his life is ‘okay’.
Sixteen-year-old Alex Sanders has convinced himself he’s happy |or| his life’s okay/normal— despite not actually liking basketball, it makes his father proud; he gulps power-drinks/pops Adderall to keep straight A’s; and not sleeping well throughout high school is just another strain he’ll find a way to manage. And the recurring panic attacks…pfft, no biggie, everyone gets a little anxious, right?
]

When Alex finds an injured girl with no memories on his doorstep, he convinces himself this is fine too. He’s juggled all his other stressors for this long, so what’s one more thing? And the girl, Terryn, is pretty fun to hang out with. She may not know what a can opener is, but her talent for bringing plants back to life is hard to ignore.
[CDH – I tried to transpose some of the data to flow better and give more clues to the story points (but check if they’re true cause I haven’t read your book + I’m only trying to offer suggestions so you can revise the way that works for you.
When an injured girl, Terryn with no memories shows up on his doorstep, Alex assures himself it’s fine too. He’s already juggling so much, what’s one more thing? Terryn may not know what a can opener is, but her talent for bringing plants back to life is extraordinary and she makes him laugh, making all his stressors a little easier to deal with.
]

But Terryn isn’t the only magical stranger in town. Local teenagers are being attacked, and none of the victims can remember who hurt them. As Terryn regains her memories, she recalls visions of the serial attacker…who is a general on the opposite side of a war she may have started. The enemy general is surely here to finish Terryn off, and it’s doubtful they’ll spare anyone who gets in their way. Alex begins to realize “one more thing” is actually a big deal.
[CDH – Optional rephrasing:
Local teenagers are being attacked, and none of the victims can remember who hurt them. Meaning Terryn isn’t the only magical stranger in town |and/or| Meaning Terryn may have been the first victim. As her memories return, visions of the serial-attacker appear, and he’s a general on the opposite side of a war Terryn may have started. Believing the enemy-general plans to finish her off and probably won’t spare anyone who gets in his way, Alex realizes this “one more thing” is actually a big deal |or| |or| is definitely not fine |or/and| the one-thing that truly tests Alex’s resolve/sanity.
]

Terryn isn’t willing to go down without a fight, and Alex is determined to help his maybe-war-criminal friend. Catching a serial attacker before they find and kill his new friend won’t be easy, but Alex is good at making it up as he goes along. It’ll probably be fine…right?
[CDH – I suggest you pick which you like best and stick with it, either ‘serial-attacker’ or ‘enemy-general’. And you flip-flop between a one person bad guy (like ‘he’) to ‘they’. Determine if you want the bad guy to be 1 enemy-general or a whole faction of enemies on the other side. Optional rephrasing:
Terryn won’t go down without a fight, and Alex plans to help his maybe-war-criminal friend. Catching the enemy-general before he finds and kill his new best friend/girlfriend/love interest won’t be easy, but Alex is good at inventing/devising solutions as things go along. It’ll probably be fine…right?